Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
