I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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