I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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