shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
