I love black thongs
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
