i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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