I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
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u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
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You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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