so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
