Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
two words: eviction party
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
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