i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
