he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
