Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
