dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize