he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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