oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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