I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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