If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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