i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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