I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
bring money and cleavage
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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