He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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