Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
