I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
