He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
