I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
