I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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