I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Buhtt sex?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
