Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
