i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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