They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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