so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
