You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
