hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
