What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
