i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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