i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
