haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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