the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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