they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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