and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
