if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
