lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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