Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
