It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
