Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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