i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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