shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
