even my farts smell like vagina
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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