I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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