He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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