Need sex. Gaining weight.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
