You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
