I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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