y did u give ur computer a hand job?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
