That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize