She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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