I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
