I want to stick my p in your. b.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
