YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
